is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
