weddingsv make me drug and hornr
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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