were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
