Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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