I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
