Don't you send me to vm
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
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