At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
