this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
