If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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