i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
