im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
