Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
