oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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