No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
