HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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