someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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