I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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