Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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