Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
