yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
