the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
