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• (847): View more from Illinois

  just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?

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• (949): View more from California

  mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That burning is chlamydia

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• (718): View more from New York

  you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  All she said was "Do me by Friday."

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