Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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