Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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