Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
