it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
