U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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