I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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