I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
