What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
