margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
