No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
