I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
