She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
