you guys were way drunker than both of me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
my poor anus
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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