I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
