It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
