curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
