I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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