Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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