it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
