So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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