Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
