I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
