Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
