Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
