My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize