Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There r osticjed everywhere
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
