i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
