I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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