I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
