If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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