After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
