And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
