We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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