YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
