is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
