You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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